Decisons, Decisions

Before I joined Weight Watchers 6 1/2 weeks ago I had asked my doctor to refer me for weight loss surgery.   I did a lot of soul searching and felt that with having been overweight my whole life and failing at my weight loss attempts so many times, surgery was my only option if I really wanted to slim down.  

Well, my number has come up and the Weight Management Clinic is ready to send me to a surgeon.  Now I'm rethinking the whole thing and am in a major mental pickle.  I am happy with the success and commitment to my journey that I'm experiencing with Weight Watchers but at the same time I know my history.  I know how I feel today but what about a month from now?  Will I still have the same drive and commitment as I do today?  I think I will but I've been down this road so many times before I really can't predict where my mindset will be.

So, if I decline the surgery now on the optimistic prediction that I will have the drive and motivation I need to reach my 80 lb weight loss goal, what if I find that I lose that drive and want to revisit the surgery?  Will it even be an option?  Will the waiting list be so long that I've lost my opportunity to realize my dream of finally being slim?

There are three different techniques available and the surgeon to whom I'm being referred only does one - Roux en Y, my least favoured option - but it's the one with the highest success rate.  I am heading down to the US tomorrow to meet with him to discuss the surgery.  I'll be honest - it's drastic and your life changes drastically afterwards with regards to what you can and cannot eat.  It doesn't become a choice anymore - your body will reject food that you aren't supposed to eat.  Very "unprettily", I might add.   And there's no guarantee of success - look at Carnie Wilson for example.  She's gained a lot back.

I like having a choice, however the secret to achieving success the old fashioned way is to exercise choice combined with a huge helping of self control.  All of that is within my control.  Do I have what it takes?  For 6 1/2 weeks I haven't faltered (well not badly if you read the last blog), and I am in total control.  I love the choices I have and enjoy a little bit of chocolate or a nice hearty steak now and then.  These may not be options after the surgery....

I prefer one of the two other procedures - Verticle Sleeve Gastrectomy (VSG) and Duodenal Switch (DS) - which are less drastic but have lower success rates and I'm waiting to hear if OHIP even covers them.  I've received conflicting information about it.  My other challenge is that the clinic in Ottawa ONLY seems to refer to the US doctor for the RnY procedure so if I want them to send me for the other procedure options in Montreal, I may have a battle on my hands.

So you see I am very conflicted.  I know that the surgery is a success if the lifestyle is changed as well.  I'm well on my way to the lifestyle change.  Surgery would make me lose faster.  But would I take it for granted and try to eat food that I shouldn't eat?  Do I want to be on vitamin supplements for the rest of life?  Can I handle "dumping syndrome"?  Can I be successful in my weight loss journey without the help of surgery?   AAARRRRGGGH!!!  

Tough Week

I've been hard pressed to find something fun and inspirational to say this week, mainly because it's hard to feel motivated about my weight loss journey when the scale stayed the same last week.  It's a very tough pill to swallow because there were times in the past when I dieted and lost weight consistently at a rate of about 2 lbs per week.  So far I am averaging 1 lb per week and am resenting two things:  1) that I did not commit to losing weight when I was younger and it came off a whole lot easier with a whole lot less effort, and 2) being in my forties.

I had the BEST time at my fortieth birthday.  I embraced turning 40 like it was the beginning of the rest of my life.  And it was a blast for about two years, but since then things are starting to fall apart.  My near vision is gone and I now wear progressive lenses where I didn't need glasses at all, body parts ache for no apparent reason, I am developing sebaceous cysts on my face, I have eczema on my eyelids, and crap, I might as well say it:  "I'm still single too".  

Okay so I'll admit it - I'm feeling sorry for myself.  So what am I going to do about it.  Hmmm... good question.  There's no game plan but I did break down and eat a few more things on Saturday than I should have, but all cheats were accounted for and checked off the flex points.  Yesterday I got myself busy and productive again, and by the time I get to my Weight Watchers weigh in on Wednesday I'll have worked out 3 times plus done some yard work.  I guess that's not too bad eh?

So although I haven't made a conscious decision to fall off or get back on the wagon, I believe that the healthy eating habits I've formed to date have easily guided my out of my Saturday Food Funk back to my "new normal".  I really believe that I can do this, but if I have too many weeks like last week I may also have a few more food funks to deal with as well.

Easter Dinner

This year I decided to go non-traditional with our Easter Dinner. Normally I do the full gluttonous spread including turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, maple glazed sweet potatoes, and whatever vegetable I feel like cooking. As you can see, the green stuff was not high on my menu priority list in the past, but since I am now following the Weight Watchers plan with successful results, I was challenged to come up with something equally tasty but less food coma-inducing.

I researched chicken and turkey recipes and found one that had a pineapple and orange juice glaze. That flavour combination appealed and so our Easter menu was born.

Our first course was a succulent salad of spring greens, red pepper, green onions, blackberries and goat cheese, with a low fat raspberry balsamic vinaigrette.

For our main course we had a choice of baked chicken breast or salmon with a pineapple orange teryaki glaze, served with pineapple salsa, roasted cauliflower and sweet potato wedges.

There was no dessert, but that's okay. This was lunch. I will probably enjoy a small treat with a glass of milk after dinner tonight. I also have two cantaloupes ripening in the fruit bowl - I can't wait for them to be ready. YUM!

I hope that everyone is enjoying a wonderful Easter or Passover with their loved ones. Mine was wonderful on two counts - quality time spent with my loved ones and a meal that was both delicious, satisfying and healthy. What more could I ask for?

Showdown at Nachoville!

In my first four weeks of following Weight Watchers I have been in absolute control putting nothing in my mouth that wasn't preplanned and accounted for.  Last night that changed.  I was meeting a couple of girlfriends at a local pub for drinks around 8 pm.  I intended to have 2 glasses of wine.  Preplanning at its finest!  We arrived and ordered our first round while we waited for the third to arrive.  When #3 arrived we got a table and started catching up.  We'd all eaten but felt obligated to order a snack or something (women's guilt - not fair really) so we all poured over the menus and I thought a bruschetta might be my best choice but never said anything out loud since I thought we were all ordering something.  In the end one of the girls ordered the nachos and suggested we share and order more later if we want.  It seemed like a good solution since I was pretty sure I could resist them.

The plate arrived and lo and behold these were not your ordinary nacho chips.  These were nachos made with my red light food, home made potato chips.  Oh!  Not good.   I had a hard time focussing on the conversation for a while because I was also having a conversation with the chips.   It sat there taunting me over and over.  And I kept thinking,  "No, I'm not hungry."  "Damn you look good."  "I wonder if I can stop at just one?"  "Shut up!"  "Oh you look sooooo good!"  "Hmmmm..."   "I wonder..."  "Fine".  

And then it happened.  I ate a small, plain chip with no cheese.  It was as good as I'd imagined.  Like a crack addict having a hit after trying to detox for week.  I waited a while but still those chips were calling me.  So again I negotiated with myself.  "I weighed in yesterday so I have a week to do the right thing and not let a few nachos put me on the wrong path."  "If I don't have more I won't be able to stop thinking about them."  "GAWD I wish someone would call the server and ask her to take them away."  

I confess, I had a few more.  A few more plain ones and a couple with a bit of cheese and tomato.  I enjoyed every last one of them and am proud to say that I ate less than 8 or so.  Most of them were without the topping and I did succeed in stopping myself while there was still a large amount left on the plate, so I believe in my heart of hearts, that I won the "Showdown at Nachoville"!!!  In my past life I could have eaten the entire plateful and last night I had about 1/10 of the serving.  

Yeah, I'm proud!!

Oh yeah, and I lost another 1.5 lbs at weigh in on Wednesday.  Yay!!

Weigh In - Week 3

Well after a disappointing and discouraging weigh in on the second week the scale was kinder to me on my third weigh in.  I lost two pounds so now I'm down a total of 3 1/2 lbs in three weeks.

No complaints but it sure is a far cry from my youth when I would lose 5 lbs in one week!  It's a tough battle to lose the weight but staying on the program is quite easy, I'm finding.  As long as I graze throughout the day I never feel hungry or crave something bad just to satisfy my hunger.  I think that this will be my key to success, along with the planning.  

Yesterday was my first "solo" day.  I didn't really plan my day but I knew what I was having for breakfast and snack, and knew that I was going out for lunch and for dinner.  I had a reasonable idea of the points I'd be consuming at dinner but I winged it at lunch as I didn't actually have a plan and when I did know where I was going I didn't have any time to research my options ahead of time.

In the end we went for Vietnamese and I had the vermecelli bowl which is one of my favourites and I would choose this over McDonald's any day.   For dinner that night I had Thai - I purposely chose dishes that were in my Weight Watcher's Dining Out Companion so that it would be easy.  And honestly, it was fantastic!  Not only the food, but spending 3 hours with girlfriends talking about everything from books we've read, to challenges with having a toddler, to Weight Watchers and healthy eating.  It really was a great night all around.

Three of the six of us are following Weight Watchers at the moment and one of us has hit a bit of a wall with her weight loss.  She found this website for The Wendie Plan that talks about mixing up the number of points you have each day, which in essence confuses your body not to expect a certain number of calories every day.  Since starting it she lost 5 lbs almost immediately.  Here is the link to the website.  I think I may try this approach if I find that I stall in my efforts as well.