What Do People Mean in their Online Dating Profiles

To help me understand better what guys mean when they say certain things in their profiles I've offered up the following multiple choice survey in my own online profile:

1) "I'm looking for a girl who takes care of herself." This means she
a. Is not fat
b. Bathes every day
c. Eats well
d. Exercises
e. Dresses well

2) "I'm looking for a girl who wants to have fun." You want a girl who
a. Wants to boink at every opportunity and doesn't need to go on dates
b. Likes to party
c. Likes sports
d. Enjoys hanging out with you and your buddies

3) "I'm attracted to all types of girls." So you like
a. All girls
b. All girls who aren't fat
c. All who are blonde
d. All girls with big knockers
e. All girls who like to boink all the time and don't need to go out on dates

4) You have an ad in the Dating section but you're married, so you mean
a. I'm too chicken to put an ad in the Intimate section
b. I cast a wide net
c. I think women in the Dating section secretly want to have an affair with a married man

5) You have an ad in all three sections (Intimate, Dating, Relationship). Does this mean
a. Your true objective is Intimate all the way
b. You'll settle for some no strings intimacy while looking for a keeper in the other sections
c. You'll take what you can get

6) "I lead a healthy lifestyle." So,
a. I work out regularly
b. I eat healthy
c. I am mentally healthy and am kind to others
d. I take vitamins
e. I occasionally stroll into the health food store

7) "I'm open, honest and caring." You mean
a. I'm a good person and will be upfront and honest if theres no click
b. I'm open, honest and caring only if I like her
c. I'm open, honest and caring when I feel like it

8) "I have a great sense of humour." You mean
a. I'll laugh at all your jokes but its your job to carry the conversation
b. I'll make you laugh till you pee
c. My mom thinks I'm funny so you will too


So....what do you think? lol

Men!

I have returned to the time sucking vortex also known as internet dating. Last week I met a guy online who was my "perfect on paper" guy. He was mature, tall, handsome, gentlemanly, flirtatious, smart, established, and happy. And he seemed totally smitten with me. He phoned me as soon as the lunch date was over and we were in our cars, and when I got to the office he instant messaged me all afternoon. That night after he'd got home from a work event he messaged me again and commented that he was hoping that I'd left a message for him to come home too. Basically we'd left Thursday with the confirmation that we both wanted to see each other again - he swept me off my feet.

Friday morning I decide to initiate the communication and since I didn't see him online I sent him an email wishing him a good day. I never heard back. I recalled that he'd said he had some meetings Friday so I wasn't concerned but by Friday night he'd still not replied and yet I'd seen him active and online on Lavalife. It really seemed unusual that he hadn't replied but I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

By Saturday night, however, I got the distinct impression that he wasn't interested anymore so I sent a note that was nice and friendly, but asked if he wasn't interested that he please remove the smiles we had exchanged on the site. He didn't do that either.

Today, Monday, I still have not heard from him but have seen him online. I don't resent his being online - I know we both need to investigate all of our options but to make such an effort to sweep me off my feet, even after the conclusion of our first date, only to drop me unceremoniously on my ass is really bewildering. I'm so confused! Is it any wonder I don't trust men!

Struggling...

Ever since I went away on a girls' weekend just about 10 days ago I've been struggling with food and hunger.  The girls' weekend was difficult to stay on program so I allowed myself to enjoy the weekend without guilt and intended to get back on the program as soon as I got back.  I had no problem getting back on program but when I stepped on the scale last Wednesday, three days of "enjoyment" manifested itself in the form of a 3.5 lb weight gain.  SAY WHAT????  For three days of relaxed eating?  

In all fairness I did drink several cocktails and indulge in some potato chips and almonds, but to have gained 3.5 lbs in 3 days I should have been unable to walk most of the time from consuming so much food.  Disappointing to say the least but after weigh in I noticed that my ankles and hands were uncomfortable and looked to see that my ankles were quite puffy.  Now 3.5lbs of water weight I could believe.

I stayed on program until Friday when once again I was presented with an opportunity to go out and be crazy.  Okay, so the McDonald's drive through for lunch wasn't part of that opportunity - that was the first time I'd given into a craving since I started 8 weeks ago, but I digress.  It was an overnight trip so Saturday was a challenge to eat lightly but not starve, but yesterday I got back on plan and this morning I stepped on the scale.  No budging yet.  I will have to be very diligent this week and get myself back into that "no bullshit" frame of mind that got me to the 8.5 lb mark by week 7, but I'm still reeling from a 3.5lb gain in 3 days!  This is a toughie....

Drum Roll Please.....

I have made a decision!  Let's back track just a little....

On Sunday my good friend Nancy and I hit the road to Utica NY as I had a 9 am appointment to meet with Dr. Graber for a consult on the bariatric surgery.  Nancy was permitted to join me as I met with the nurses and the doctor in three separate rooms.

We met with the first nurse who reviewed my history against the questionnaire I had filled out online some time back.  She confirmed that what was true back then still holds true today.  She took my blood pressure, weighed me and measured my height.

Next we met with the nurse who does the patient education and she explained the mechanics of the surgery, the risks and the recovery process.  She was patient, kind and understanding and answered all our questions honestly and thoroughly.

The third stop was with Dr. Graber himself who also explained the procedure, compared it with other surgical options and explained why he preferred the Roux-en-Y which he performs exclusively.  Of course it's kind of like a VW salesman explaining why VW's are better than Honda, but all bias' aside both Nancy and I felt a lot less freaked out by the surgery and definitely had a positive feeling that it could be the tool I've been looking for to help me reach my life long dream.

Dr. Graber was jovial and friendly, and Nancy and I both liked him a lot.  In fact we liked everyone at the clinic.  All told they spent about two hours with us and did not pressure me into anything.  Dr. Graber said I could change my mind right up until the mask goes on face.

On the way out of the clinic we ran into a woman who was ECSTATIC, to say the least.  I discreetly leaned over and asked her if she'd had the surgery to which she emphatically responded, "Yes!!.  It was the best thing I ever did.  It was EASY!"  She even lifted her shirt and showed my her key hole scars from the laparoscopic procedure.  I noticed she had a French accent and asked if she was from Quebec but she reponded that she was from Ottawa.  I asked her if she would be interested in meeting me for coffee so I could discuss her experience and she happily gave me her phone numbers.

Now the decision.... but I suspect you may already have a sense of where this is going.....

Nancy and I chatted on the way home about the appointment and about the surgery itself.  We talked about risks, eating modifications, behaviour modifications, and of course we talked about the probability of me finally being slim.  Wow!  A weight loss rate of 5-6 lbs per week is a pretty intoxicating concept!  I could be in a bikini for my next winter vacation.

But I digress....

After much consideration I decided that I would ask the Ottawa clinic to pursue the surgical option for me in NY.  I called them Tuesday morning to set the ball in motion.  They will complete the forms to obtain approval from OHIP, and I must take 4 weekly classes to prepare for the surgery.  My classes will start on June 16 and finish July 7.   The clinic advised that OHIP would not likely approve the surgery if I didn't commit to attending the classes so based on this schedule I don't forsee a surgical date before mid to late July.

In the meanwhile I have chosen to continue with my Weight Watchers program because one of two things will happen:

1. My success will be so great that when the surgical date is offered I will feel that I won't need it and decline; or
2. WW is teaching me some very good habits, not the least of which is portion control, which I will need to aware of if I choose to proceed with the surgery.

It's a win/win situation.   I've not eliminated any options at this time and if I find down the line that I'm just not winning at Weight Watchers, I still have the surgical option.  If I made the decision today then it may be a long process to get it back should I decide to do so.

So that's my decision.... in a nutshell, the decision is deferred until I get a surgical date.  Sneaky eh?  lol

Decisons, Decisions

Before I joined Weight Watchers 6 1/2 weeks ago I had asked my doctor to refer me for weight loss surgery.   I did a lot of soul searching and felt that with having been overweight my whole life and failing at my weight loss attempts so many times, surgery was my only option if I really wanted to slim down.  

Well, my number has come up and the Weight Management Clinic is ready to send me to a surgeon.  Now I'm rethinking the whole thing and am in a major mental pickle.  I am happy with the success and commitment to my journey that I'm experiencing with Weight Watchers but at the same time I know my history.  I know how I feel today but what about a month from now?  Will I still have the same drive and commitment as I do today?  I think I will but I've been down this road so many times before I really can't predict where my mindset will be.

So, if I decline the surgery now on the optimistic prediction that I will have the drive and motivation I need to reach my 80 lb weight loss goal, what if I find that I lose that drive and want to revisit the surgery?  Will it even be an option?  Will the waiting list be so long that I've lost my opportunity to realize my dream of finally being slim?

There are three different techniques available and the surgeon to whom I'm being referred only does one - Roux en Y, my least favoured option - but it's the one with the highest success rate.  I am heading down to the US tomorrow to meet with him to discuss the surgery.  I'll be honest - it's drastic and your life changes drastically afterwards with regards to what you can and cannot eat.  It doesn't become a choice anymore - your body will reject food that you aren't supposed to eat.  Very "unprettily", I might add.   And there's no guarantee of success - look at Carnie Wilson for example.  She's gained a lot back.

I like having a choice, however the secret to achieving success the old fashioned way is to exercise choice combined with a huge helping of self control.  All of that is within my control.  Do I have what it takes?  For 6 1/2 weeks I haven't faltered (well not badly if you read the last blog), and I am in total control.  I love the choices I have and enjoy a little bit of chocolate or a nice hearty steak now and then.  These may not be options after the surgery....

I prefer one of the two other procedures - Verticle Sleeve Gastrectomy (VSG) and Duodenal Switch (DS) - which are less drastic but have lower success rates and I'm waiting to hear if OHIP even covers them.  I've received conflicting information about it.  My other challenge is that the clinic in Ottawa ONLY seems to refer to the US doctor for the RnY procedure so if I want them to send me for the other procedure options in Montreal, I may have a battle on my hands.

So you see I am very conflicted.  I know that the surgery is a success if the lifestyle is changed as well.  I'm well on my way to the lifestyle change.  Surgery would make me lose faster.  But would I take it for granted and try to eat food that I shouldn't eat?  Do I want to be on vitamin supplements for the rest of life?  Can I handle "dumping syndrome"?  Can I be successful in my weight loss journey without the help of surgery?   AAARRRRGGGH!!!  

Tough Week

I've been hard pressed to find something fun and inspirational to say this week, mainly because it's hard to feel motivated about my weight loss journey when the scale stayed the same last week.  It's a very tough pill to swallow because there were times in the past when I dieted and lost weight consistently at a rate of about 2 lbs per week.  So far I am averaging 1 lb per week and am resenting two things:  1) that I did not commit to losing weight when I was younger and it came off a whole lot easier with a whole lot less effort, and 2) being in my forties.

I had the BEST time at my fortieth birthday.  I embraced turning 40 like it was the beginning of the rest of my life.  And it was a blast for about two years, but since then things are starting to fall apart.  My near vision is gone and I now wear progressive lenses where I didn't need glasses at all, body parts ache for no apparent reason, I am developing sebaceous cysts on my face, I have eczema on my eyelids, and crap, I might as well say it:  "I'm still single too".  

Okay so I'll admit it - I'm feeling sorry for myself.  So what am I going to do about it.  Hmmm... good question.  There's no game plan but I did break down and eat a few more things on Saturday than I should have, but all cheats were accounted for and checked off the flex points.  Yesterday I got myself busy and productive again, and by the time I get to my Weight Watchers weigh in on Wednesday I'll have worked out 3 times plus done some yard work.  I guess that's not too bad eh?

So although I haven't made a conscious decision to fall off or get back on the wagon, I believe that the healthy eating habits I've formed to date have easily guided my out of my Saturday Food Funk back to my "new normal".  I really believe that I can do this, but if I have too many weeks like last week I may also have a few more food funks to deal with as well.

Easter Dinner

This year I decided to go non-traditional with our Easter Dinner. Normally I do the full gluttonous spread including turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, maple glazed sweet potatoes, and whatever vegetable I feel like cooking. As you can see, the green stuff was not high on my menu priority list in the past, but since I am now following the Weight Watchers plan with successful results, I was challenged to come up with something equally tasty but less food coma-inducing.

I researched chicken and turkey recipes and found one that had a pineapple and orange juice glaze. That flavour combination appealed and so our Easter menu was born.

Our first course was a succulent salad of spring greens, red pepper, green onions, blackberries and goat cheese, with a low fat raspberry balsamic vinaigrette.

For our main course we had a choice of baked chicken breast or salmon with a pineapple orange teryaki glaze, served with pineapple salsa, roasted cauliflower and sweet potato wedges.

There was no dessert, but that's okay. This was lunch. I will probably enjoy a small treat with a glass of milk after dinner tonight. I also have two cantaloupes ripening in the fruit bowl - I can't wait for them to be ready. YUM!

I hope that everyone is enjoying a wonderful Easter or Passover with their loved ones. Mine was wonderful on two counts - quality time spent with my loved ones and a meal that was both delicious, satisfying and healthy. What more could I ask for?