Dealing With The Blues

Seasonal Affected Disorder? Depression? What's wrong with me?

I can honestly say that this summer I was at the top of my game. I felt beautiful and sexy, despite being a "big girl". I was happy. People commented on my appearance all the time. I was dating up a storm. I organized my high school reunion. I seriously felt like I could conquer the world and BAM, it all ended in the fall.


I came crashing down off my high. I am dealing with feeling unattractive, fat, unmotivated and generally unhappy. Not miserable or weepy, just very "blah" and uninspired. My skin is crappy, I feel tired most of the time, and I am eating more. Oh yay. Like I need that!


So now what? Christmas is coming and so far I've begged off of three parties. I have another tomorrow and yes I will definitely go to this one. I have two more parties coming up and honestly I could care less if I go. I think part of it is my constant state of singleness. This just seems 10 times more obvious during the Christmas season when couples head off to party after party, and I am forced to endure hours of hanging out with the "smug marrieds" (read Bridget Jones' Diary, you'll understand). It just isn't fun to be reminded that I don't have anyone with whom to share the ups and downs of my life. Perhaps this is the fundamental root of the problem.


So what am I going to do about it? I don't have a freaking clue!! I know what I need to do. going to the gym would be a great start. Going to the parties anyway would be another good thing. But am I doing it? Go back a couple of paragraphs. I can't seem to get motivated to do anything and I'm stuck in a vicious circle. And the fact that it's been a miserable start to the cold season with too much cold and too much slow, I feel like I could hibernate all winter and only come out in the spring.

I really want to shake the blues and welcome any comments you have that you think may help. I really want to find my mojo again.

"Stella needs her groove back!"

The Art of Romance and Dating

Lately I've found myself wondering how many guys in this day and age really know how to woo a woman. Honestly I think they do know. With the abundance of media forms slapping us upside the head with ideas every day, why isn't anyone paying attention, taking notes, and using the tools that have been subtly provided?


I would love my guy (or potential guy) to plan a romantic dinner out (heck even making reservations would count at this point!), ask me out more than one hour in advance and find a way to make the evening special. A nice walk to see the Christmas lights, a drive to some hardly known dessert place, a quiet lounge for an after dinner drink.


What this boils down to is wanting to feel special. Wanting to feel wanted. It's not about the man always paying because these things get reciprocated. When women get swept off their feet, they give back twice as much. Women are givers but we need to feel special, like "Plan A", not the time filler because better offers didn't come along.


Invite me for a burger and a movie, Beavertails and ice sculptures, skating and hot toddies (okay maybe I'm too clumsy to go skating - that's another blog story altogether), but you get the idea. It's not the cost of the evening but the planning that woos a woman. Our hearts are stolen by the thought that went into planning a night that make us feel like there is no other place you'd rather be.


And realize guys, when you do this it pays off double! Nuff said! *wink*