Struggling...

Ever since I went away on a girls' weekend just about 10 days ago I've been struggling with food and hunger.  The girls' weekend was difficult to stay on program so I allowed myself to enjoy the weekend without guilt and intended to get back on the program as soon as I got back.  I had no problem getting back on program but when I stepped on the scale last Wednesday, three days of "enjoyment" manifested itself in the form of a 3.5 lb weight gain.  SAY WHAT????  For three days of relaxed eating?  

In all fairness I did drink several cocktails and indulge in some potato chips and almonds, but to have gained 3.5 lbs in 3 days I should have been unable to walk most of the time from consuming so much food.  Disappointing to say the least but after weigh in I noticed that my ankles and hands were uncomfortable and looked to see that my ankles were quite puffy.  Now 3.5lbs of water weight I could believe.

I stayed on program until Friday when once again I was presented with an opportunity to go out and be crazy.  Okay, so the McDonald's drive through for lunch wasn't part of that opportunity - that was the first time I'd given into a craving since I started 8 weeks ago, but I digress.  It was an overnight trip so Saturday was a challenge to eat lightly but not starve, but yesterday I got back on plan and this morning I stepped on the scale.  No budging yet.  I will have to be very diligent this week and get myself back into that "no bullshit" frame of mind that got me to the 8.5 lb mark by week 7, but I'm still reeling from a 3.5lb gain in 3 days!  This is a toughie....

Drum Roll Please.....

I have made a decision!  Let's back track just a little....

On Sunday my good friend Nancy and I hit the road to Utica NY as I had a 9 am appointment to meet with Dr. Graber for a consult on the bariatric surgery.  Nancy was permitted to join me as I met with the nurses and the doctor in three separate rooms.

We met with the first nurse who reviewed my history against the questionnaire I had filled out online some time back.  She confirmed that what was true back then still holds true today.  She took my blood pressure, weighed me and measured my height.

Next we met with the nurse who does the patient education and she explained the mechanics of the surgery, the risks and the recovery process.  She was patient, kind and understanding and answered all our questions honestly and thoroughly.

The third stop was with Dr. Graber himself who also explained the procedure, compared it with other surgical options and explained why he preferred the Roux-en-Y which he performs exclusively.  Of course it's kind of like a VW salesman explaining why VW's are better than Honda, but all bias' aside both Nancy and I felt a lot less freaked out by the surgery and definitely had a positive feeling that it could be the tool I've been looking for to help me reach my life long dream.

Dr. Graber was jovial and friendly, and Nancy and I both liked him a lot.  In fact we liked everyone at the clinic.  All told they spent about two hours with us and did not pressure me into anything.  Dr. Graber said I could change my mind right up until the mask goes on face.

On the way out of the clinic we ran into a woman who was ECSTATIC, to say the least.  I discreetly leaned over and asked her if she'd had the surgery to which she emphatically responded, "Yes!!.  It was the best thing I ever did.  It was EASY!"  She even lifted her shirt and showed my her key hole scars from the laparoscopic procedure.  I noticed she had a French accent and asked if she was from Quebec but she reponded that she was from Ottawa.  I asked her if she would be interested in meeting me for coffee so I could discuss her experience and she happily gave me her phone numbers.

Now the decision.... but I suspect you may already have a sense of where this is going.....

Nancy and I chatted on the way home about the appointment and about the surgery itself.  We talked about risks, eating modifications, behaviour modifications, and of course we talked about the probability of me finally being slim.  Wow!  A weight loss rate of 5-6 lbs per week is a pretty intoxicating concept!  I could be in a bikini for my next winter vacation.

But I digress....

After much consideration I decided that I would ask the Ottawa clinic to pursue the surgical option for me in NY.  I called them Tuesday morning to set the ball in motion.  They will complete the forms to obtain approval from OHIP, and I must take 4 weekly classes to prepare for the surgery.  My classes will start on June 16 and finish July 7.   The clinic advised that OHIP would not likely approve the surgery if I didn't commit to attending the classes so based on this schedule I don't forsee a surgical date before mid to late July.

In the meanwhile I have chosen to continue with my Weight Watchers program because one of two things will happen:

1. My success will be so great that when the surgical date is offered I will feel that I won't need it and decline; or
2. WW is teaching me some very good habits, not the least of which is portion control, which I will need to aware of if I choose to proceed with the surgery.

It's a win/win situation.   I've not eliminated any options at this time and if I find down the line that I'm just not winning at Weight Watchers, I still have the surgical option.  If I made the decision today then it may be a long process to get it back should I decide to do so.

So that's my decision.... in a nutshell, the decision is deferred until I get a surgical date.  Sneaky eh?  lol